Good morning,
Lately, the aphorisms of one of my wisest mentors have been rolling around in my head. To paraphrase one of his best quips: “There are just two things all human beings don’t like – change and the way things are.”
(I interpret this pithy comment as a take on hedonic adaptation as opposed to being a nihilist.)
My thinking about this phrase synced up nicely while reading one of Seth Godin’s recent writings, titled “Transitions are difficult.” His short post elaborates on the human condition apropos of change:
“[Transitions are] risky (unknown territory leads to unforeseen outcomes) and a very recent phenomenon. A kid dropped off at pre-school, a new boss, a food you’re not familiar with. None of this was common for most of pre-history.
When the transition occurs, we’re tempted to direct our anxiety at the details of the new situation. The boss is a close talker, the air in this new place is humid, the appetizers aren’t quite right and our guests are almost here…
It’s productive to name the actual cause instead. Time spent on the details won’t do a thing to make the transition easier.
Instead, when we address the actual issue, when we name the fact that it’s the transition that’s bothering us, we can get back to the reason we’re transitioning in the first place.”
I like the idea of “the reason we’re transitioning in the first place.” Focusing on the reason for the transition is a simple way for me to let go of the bells and whistles or complaints that I have related to whatever is changing around me or in me.
Sometimes I force transitions; sometimes they’re forced onto me. I often find that I’m better dealing with the latter, when I have less choice in the matter.
This dichotomy led me to another one of my mentor’s quips: “Get comfortable being uncomfortable.” That concept resonated with me for a while, until I started to become more comfortable in my life and in myself. Then I found myself needing to meditate on this slightly modified version: “Get comfortable being comfortable.”
I sometimes work and toil and strive to get to places of comfort or expansiveness only to find that it’s in the challenging phases and not the places I’m trying to reach where I’m better suited, more fulfilled.
How about you: What’s comfortable right now? What’s not? What reasons come to mind when shifting to or staying in one phase or another?
Until next time,
Matt
P.S. Thank you to those who respond to my weekly letters. If you’d like to turn your personal message to me into a public comment here, I would be very grateful!
P.P.S. I’m adding episodes of my podcast/audiocast to Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Please have a listen!
Nice presentation of the concept of change. My success with change is more often a direct result of my degree of acceptance, which then leads directly to the Serenity Prayer. Love your newfound brevity:). Larry
Thanks Matt. Hope it contributes to increased readership.