Good morning,
When a friend told me about the new Hal Elrod book, I misunderstood and thought she’d said the name of a recovery program’s new book instead. I said I thought the latter book had sold out and didn’t know it was available. She proudly said she’d snagged a copy. When the confusion cleared up, she shared a podcast link to give me some insight about Hal.
Elrod aligns his story in the context of three “wake-up calls.” His first wake-up call happened in 1999 after he went into a coma after being hit by a drunk driver. His second wake-up call came during the economic crash in 2007. His third wake-up call happened about seven years ago when he got cancer and was told he had a 20-30% chance of survival. In response to his life’s travails, Elrod has dedicated his life to inspiring and motivating others through books, speaking, and of course, a podcast.
In episode 496 (!) of his “Achieve Your Goals” podcast, Elrod talks about one of his favorite books: The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer. I enjoyed Elrod’s short episode format as well as his takeaways from Singer’s work apropos of surrender:
It’s not about the events in life, it’s about how you interpret them
The power of looking at challenges as opportunities for growth
The key to unlocking our potential often lies in places we least expect
The tighter we hold, the more we lose
Dance with life’s rhythm, don’t dictate it
Why letting go leads to deeper connections
Lo and behold, I began a Michael Singer deep dive. A quick search in Spotify podcasts includes guest appearances on Oprah, Eckhart Tolle, Tony Robbins as well as his own robust show and audiobooks. Over the past few weeks I listened to much of The Surrender Experiment on audiobook. I like the book, but I’ve been getting lost in some of his meandering anecdotes and personal history.
So far, my favorite piece of his work is an October episode of his namesake podcast, titled “Releasing the Burden of Worry.” The episode is heavy and inspiring and also counterintuitive to some of the work I do as a life coach, a profession where we help people chart the course of their life and go for what they want. Singer says:
“Why can’t you have a healthy relation with creation? With life? With the universe? This is not your universe. It’s not even your life. If it decided to stop: your lungs stop breathing, your heart stops breathing, your liver starts secreting. What are you going to do about it? Not one of you would know what to do. You’d call for help because it’s not your life. It’s life’s life. And you’re just here. Aren’t you? Give it back. Give life back to life.
“So your first step in your spiritual growth and your paradigm shift here, getting out of that crazy way of being, is you look at life every single day and you remind yourself: this is life, and I am a visitor, a sojourner. I am the witness of the experience of life. And whatever is happening in life, is what’s happening in life. There’s nothing more to say about it. There’s no good or right or wrong or bad or worse or judging or anything like that. It’s just: there it is. It’s raining when it’s raining; it’s not raining when it’s not raining. I told you it was very Zen. People are nice to you when they’re nice to you and they’re mean to you when they’re mean to you. Sometimes they’re nice, aren't they? And sometimes they’re mean, aren’t they? Anybody figure out how to make that not happen? Ever? In the history of humanity? It’s just the nature of things. Yin. Yang. Everything has its Yin and its Yang. Why can’t it just be that way? That is the start of your spirituality. You’re no longer using life to make yourself be okay.”
The more I let this sink in, the more I’m reminded of one of the key takeaways I learned during my coaching certification training: it’s less about what I’m doing, and more about how I want to be while doing something. I may have the best external circumstances, yet I’m racing through life and acting like a curmudgeonly ingrate. My life might be in shambles, yet I’m slowing down, appreciating what’s good and moving forward little by little.
“You’re no longer using life to make yourself be okay.” What a concept! What a challenge! I think I can start to process Singer’s ideas by asking myself these questions:
What am I using to make myself be okay?
What do I think I need in order to be more okay?
In what ways is my life already okay that I might not be seeing?
What if I surrendered an obsession with okay-ness and took the path of an observant sojourner today?
Until next time,
Matt
P.S. Thank you to those who respond to my weekly letters. If you’d like to turn your personal message to me into a public comment here, I would be very grateful!
P.P.S. I’m adding episodes of my podcast/audiocast to Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Please have a listen!