DEAR Method

How to get unstuck (supposedly), foot update and more...

Good afternoon,

Thank you to everyone who reached out about my fractured toe. It turns out it is in fact broken. Last week, I saw a doctor who quickly recommended surgery, but I’m getting an MRI and a second opinion before deciding on next steps. In the meantime, I'm doing my best to follow the RICE method, and I’ve ordered a boot, although I haven’t started wearing it yet. I’m still coming to terms with the sudden stoppage of my work and activities. For now, I’m taking things week by week with my pickleball coaching, as I'm unsure how much I can be on my foot, even with the boot.

In light of my malaise, a headline grabbed my attention in this past Sunday’s Chicago Tribune via Inc.: “Feeling exhausted? Unmotivated? Stuck? Use Harvard researchers’ DEAR Method to get moving again.”

As I read the opening paragraph, I nodded and whispered yes to myself:

“Have you ever been caught in an exhaustion-inaction doom loop? You feel unmotivated and stuck and know you need to take some action to change your situation. But you're so exhausted you can't think straight or muster the energy to actually do anything. 

If this frustrating catch-22 sounds familiar, know you're not alone. Coaches and psychologists report it happens not just to frontline workers, but all the way up to the very top of organizations. 

Hopefully, you can take some comfort in knowing you have plenty of company. But what you really need when you're stuck in a deep, dark, sticky professional rut is a route out of it. How do you break out of a low energy/low motivation doom loop and recover some zest for your work?”

The acronym DEAR stands for: Detachment, Empathy, Action, Reframing; here’s the gist of each one:

• Detachment: Take a third-person perspective to your stuckness

• Empathy: Seek human connection to recharge

• Action: Tackle small stuff first

• Reframing: Look at how what you’re avoiding is getting in the way of bigger goals and values

(The article’s author Jessica Stillman references this Harvard Business Review podcast episode for more information about the DEAR Method.)

I've been avoiding a few things due to my busy pickleball teaching schedule, such as working with more life coaching clients and bringing more people into my pickleball training center in Chicago. Currently, the center is open from 12-5 on Mondays, and I can teach there because it’s just a training studio with no running around. Now, with all this extra time and space, I plan to apply the DEAR Method to focus on these two areas where I can make a difference, even though I can't speed up the healing of my toe.

I think that writing this week’s letter helps a little with D & E… I hope that, like the article states, when A comes into play, “Now that you’ve given yourself some mental and emotional space so you can calm down and feel more centered, it’s time to tackle the hardest step, actually taking action to change your work situation.”

Have you tried this method before? If not, what’s something that’s worked for you in a similar fashion as this method advertises? And is there anything in your world that you could apply the DEAR Method to?

Until next time,

Matt

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matthewleebaron.com