Good morning,
I’m pleased with how many messages I’ve received over the past couple of weeks from friends. This was an unexpected result of my newsletter about reaching out to a friend if they’re on your mind. My writing wasn’t meant to bait anyone for a hello, but I am glad that so many folks did reach out via texts, calls and emails.
A quasi-cosmic result of my letter was an hour-long call with a friend I hadn’t spoken to in about a year. We’d become close during the pandemic and our friendship continued through 2021-2022. Over those couple of years we’d schedule regular calls to chat about writing, books and recovery. Coincidentally her reaching out to me happened while I was writing the letter, not as a result… (hence the quasi-cosmic bit).
In light of what we’d discussed, she sent me an Instagram screenshot after our call. It’s a quote from Wild by Cheryl Strayed (after some Googling, I think the Insta quote is adapted a bit):
What if I forgave myself? What if I forgave myself even though I’d done some things I shouldn’t have? What if I was sorry, but if I could go back in time I wouldn’t do anything different from what I’d done? What if yes was the right answer instead of no? What if all those things I shouldn’t have done were what got me here? What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?
This quote reminds me of a spiritual platitude that can either be trite or helpful, depending on my attitude: “Our higher power doesn’t give us more than we can handle.” In times of doubt, strife or challenge, I’m often left with reminding myself that if I slow down and open up, I have enough support and courage to face my challenges, as I always have up until now.
The above post also reminds me of my favorite song of 2022, “Runner” by Alex G. (This was maybe the first song my baby son liked, too.) We especially love the unexpected metal scream on a mid-song refrain, when Alex G lets out some raw emotion in the middle of this mid-tempo mellow rocker. This quirky indie rock song about vulnerability and friends who stand by us despite our flaws is an obscure anthem for anyone who listens closely.
As I get older, I’m reminded that it’s often the flaws or mistakes in others that make me feel more connected to them than things that are seemingly perfect. It’s the messiness of the Strayed quote that resonates. It’s the raw scream in the Alex G song (“I have done a couple bad things”) that’s the most memorable part for me. When popular writers or friends share themselves, I find myself being able to forgive without much effort. Now: can I transfer that same forgiveness onto myself when I’ve been human, too?
Until next time,
Matt
Beautifully stated and something to ponder on! It’s the flaws that help us learn and grow!